Globally, children impacted by domestic violence in their homes totals more than 275 million children, according to the United Nations International Children Emergency Fund (UNICEF.)
Moreover, UNICEF refers to this as, “one of the most pervasive human rights challenges of our time.”
Childhood Impacted by Domestic Violence
Approximately 15 million children are growing up with domestic violence in the United States alone. As many as 40 million adults are likely to have experienced domestic violence in their childhood home.
Identified as Childhood Domestic Violence or CDV), research over the past three decades has, at length, documented that CDV can have a intense impact on a person’s life in the four key areas — lasting well into adulthood, with dismal, grim consequences:
- Relationships
- Emotional wellbeing
- Physical health
- Behavior
Persons who are impacted become extensively more likely to struggle with mental health issues, abuse drugs or alcohol, commit a violent crime, or commit suicide.
In addition, they’re more likely to abuse their children — which is — on its own, the best predictor of committing or facing domestic violence as an adult. Approximately, 80 to 90 percent of prisoners come from this type of home.
Knowledge and Understanding
Currently, there aren’t many programs or resources to better educate, strengthen, and motivate adults to step in for these children.
In addition, it’s difficult to be sure whether or not a teen or child is, in fact, experiencing violence in their home. A child might cope with and respond very differently to being exposed or becoming a victim of domestic violence.
Some may act very “normal” or be very quiet…while others may be very aggressive.
In an effort to keep the young safe, it’s critically important to understand how violence in the home influences the way childhood and adult victims view themselves.
Additionally how they view the world and how they interact with others should be part of the arsenal to protect children and teens who suffer from living in a violent home.
A child or teen’s response varies for many reasons. Nonetheless, they often share many of the same feelings. The following are ten negative beliefs and feelings about themselves that living in these types of homes set up.
- Hopelessness
- Guilt
- Fear
- Unloved
- Sadness
- Alone
- Self-consciousness
- Resentfulness
- Anger
Children Coping With Violence at Home
Within their home life, children have very limited power. Often, adults make decisions for them without the child’s understanding why or participation.
The child may mistakenly believe they can control the violence by trying to calm down the abuser. Furthermore, they may even act out in order to redirect violence away from the person being hurt or abused.
The impact of growing up in a home where domestic violence is present shapes how one’s brain develops, how they respond to the world, and how they experience life as adults. The stress response system of a domestic violence child victim has their developing brain flooded with stress hormones.
Experiencing domestic violence makes a child or teen more likely to experience post-traumatic stress, depression, or anxiety. Such violent occurrences also affect their ability to trust others…to feel safe in relationships. It may lead to them struggling with emotional regulation, learning, and focus. It also increases the risk of substance abuse, self-doubt, and anger.
Fortunately, there’s hope. Healing is possible. The brain is adaptable.
Healing and Hope For Children Affected By Domestic Violence
Healing steps for children impacted by domestic violence include finding the truth and breaking free. Recognizing childhood domestic violence for what it is allows those who experienced it to break free from the lies they learned growing up — like believing they are powerless or unworthy.
Leading expert, Dr. Renee McDonald affirms:
“Even a small change in perspective can transform a life.”
More often, children don’t realize that the violence they’ve experienced doesn’t define them. Moreover, they don’t grasp onto the reality that they have other choices about how to live their life.
You can help them become conscious of the truth and find a new course to take by simply explaining to them the truth that, “It’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for the violence” or “This doesn’t define you.”
It’s important to recognize that a child experiencing domestic violence may need more help than you can provide. Search for other support. You’re not the only adult who may be able to provide assistance and support.
Consequently, try to connect with other knowledgeable and caring adults in helping the person you wish to support — like counselors, coaches, teachers, neighbors, religious leaders, community leaders, extended family, mental health professionals, and more.
Assure the unfortunate victim that they’re not alone — that millions of others have experienced…and today experience…the same thing as them. Help them to understand other ways of living.
Share the successes of others…that many children who experienced domestic violence grow up to live very healthy and happy lives.
It takes understanding, motivation, effort, strength…and a lot of working knowledge to help children and adult victims impacted by domestic violence — those who suffer the consequences of living in a violent home.
