Self-compassion brings into being a number of benefits to physical and mental health.
People who exhibit self-compassion are able to recognize when they’re in anguish. And at these times, inevitably, they become kind to themselves…which reduces their suffering and inevitable depression.
Unnatural Self-Compassion
Not everyone benefits from self-compassion in a natural sense. However, anyone can learn how to become self-compassionate.
Quite often, people usually think of compassion as it applies to others. Nevertheless, we can also show compassion to ourselves.
In essence, self-compassion means showing compassion towards ourselves, when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate.
Christopher Germer, a Harvard University psychologist, suggests that there are five ways to bring self-compassion into your life — that is, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational methods.
It’s Hard — But Can Be Achieved
For most of us, being self-compassionate is hard. It’s difficult for various reasons.
For instance, our threat system — that is, our brain is designed to shift into threat mode quite easily to protect ourselves. We are biased to see the negative. Therefore, turning our attention to more self-compassionate happenings may be unnatural to us.
In addition, our early experiences in our lives…when growing up…we might not have been taught or been shown how to be compassionate to ourselves. Moreover, it might have never occurred to us that treating ourselves kindly was even a choice, or an opportunity.
Furthermore, we may have negative beliefs about self-compassion. For those who never learned — or talked about self-compassion — the mire suggestion of can carry negative connotations. Some people may consider being self-compassionate is too ‘touchy feely’, and will lead to self-pity, self-indulgence, or laziness.
However, self-compassion is none of these things. Everyone can benefit from a little more self-compassion.
Suggested Ways
Other professionals, including Germer, have suggested an assortment of ways to generate self-compassion into one’s life.
The following are a number of suggested ways:
- Practice mindfulness. This is the nonjudgmental observation of your own actions, feelings, and thoughts, without trying to stifle or reject them. When you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, accept the bad with the good with a compassionate attitude.
- Write a letter to yourself. Describe a situation that caused you to feel pain, (a job loss, a romantic breakup). Don’t blame anyone but identify your feelings.
- Give yourself encouragement. If something painful or bad happens to you, think of what you would say to a good friend if the same thing happened to him or her. Think and say these kindhearted responses toward yourself.
- Comfort your body. Take a walk. Massage your own hands, feet, or neck. Eat something healthy. Lie down and rest your body. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a measure of self-compassion.
Practice ways to inspire and motivate yourself. Develop understanding, concern, kindness, strength, and warmth within yourself. Rather than drifting off to self-critical habits, use these attributes and attitudes to respond to your struggles,
With your growth in self-compassion, you’ll make yourself more capable, better fit, and more than likely, successful in helping others in need, as well.
